Love at first sight, is it real?

Do you think love at first sight is a real thing? I was browsing one night and saw that

a man can tell in 120 days if the woman he is dating is someone he will marry. If it only takes four months, to realize this is someone I will marry then why is it people are engaged for 10 years before getting married? It leads me to think what is the purpose of dating if it is not meant to become marriage. It makes sense to simply stay single and make sure the other person knows the intentions of their attention and time.

"My first glance fell on your heart." - Friedrich Schiller 

My eyes have deceived me

I was invited to attend a nightclub one night with friends whose family had come in from out of town and wanted to enjoy a weekend in the city. We arrived early to ensure we had a decent spot in the bar. My friend looked at the phone and stated, "they are here and it's time to turn up!" The doors swung open and there this chocolate, medium-build guy walk in as if he was floating with bowlegs. He was neatly dressed in blue and denim, with a permanent up to no good demeanor. That should have been red flag number one huh?

Nope, I was even more intrigued with who this was. I followed him with my eyes all night as he stood there feeling my glances pierce him as if he was God himself on the cross, my eyes were all over him. The moment struck where we locked eyes long enough to communicate our interest that would last in the blink of an eye. This had to be love at first sight, it felt as though our souls connected and tied the knot at that very moment.

Now, my friend and I always went out but this time was a bit different. We went to a spot that was not familiar but hey we really didn't care where we partied. As we parked and got out of the car, there I noticed this chocolate, medium-build guy walking as if he was floating with bowlegs. He was neatly dressed in black and denim, with a permanent up to no good demeanor. I looked at my friend and asked, is that who I think it is? We drank, we danced, and we laughed most of the night. We were talking loudly, doing corny dances and all singing to each other. The drinks hit me as though a ton of bricks fell on my back; I fell in his lap and in his trap all at once.

To be continued...

Back to the topic

I’ve often wondered, what is the point of dating someone? On the surface, it seems simple: companionship, fun, maybe romance. But the deeper I think about it, the more I realize that dating is about so much more than just enjoying someone’s company. It’s a journey of self-discovery, connection, and clarity. It is a way to figure out who we are, what we want, and whether someone truly fits into our lives. Dating is often portrayed in movies and media as a fun pastime or a gateway to romance that anyone would want. The slow kissing, holding hands, gazing in each other's with melodies only the two of you can hear. But in in some cases when you are talking to others about dating you hear more bad experiences than anything. Or is it the people you talk to or hang out with?

Dating allows us to discover compatibility in ways that nothing else can. Spending time with someone lets you see how their values, habits, and personality align with yours. You notice how they handle stress, how they communicate, and how their goals match or clash with yours. Even small details, like how they treat servers at a restaurant or manage their time, reveal a lot about the person. Compatibility isn’t just about attraction it’s about shared life rhythms and mutual respect.

But dating isn’t just about evaluating someone else it’s also a mirror for self-discovery. Each relationship teaches you something about yourself. You learn your boundaries, what excites you, what frustrates you, and what you absolutely cannot compromise on. You gain clarity on your priorities, your emotional patterns, and the kind of partnership that will truly nurture you. But what if it's for just that time of where you are in life. People change; mindsets change with growth or the lack of...

In this sense, dating becomes a tool for personal growth, helping you become more aware, intentional, and honest about your needs. Dating also offers the chance to build emotional connection and intimacy. Humans crave closeness, trust, and shared experiences, and dating provides a space to explore those feelings safely. Even simple moments, like laughing together over a movie or supporting each other through a tough day, help cultivate trust and vulnerability. These experiences matter, even if the relationship doesn’t last because they teach us what it feels like to give and receive love.

Perhaps most importantly, dating allows us to clarify intentions. Whether we want casual companionship, serious commitment, or marriage, dating helps us understand what both we and our partners are seeking. Being upfront and intentional can save time, heartache, and energy. It ensures that the relationship is meaningful and moving in a direction that matters to both people.

In the end, dating isn’t just about finding “the one.” It’s about learning, connecting, and growing both with someone else and within yourself. When approached with honesty and intention, dating becomes more than a pastime or a fleeting romance. It becomes a purposeful journey toward understanding, compatibility, and, ultimately, meaningful love.

Because at the heart of it, dating isn’t just about someone else it’s about discovering the life, connection, and joy you truly deserve. Therefore, a marriage cannot happen without some form of relationship being in place, meaning dating is necessary and love at first sight is not real.